Whether you’re looking to transform and deepen your current relationship to find the love of your deepest dreams and desires, understanding your attachment style creates emotional clarity for healthier relationships.
How we bonded with our parents, specifically our mother, forms patterns of communication and how we view and address conflict, expectation, intimacy, and sensual expression. It molds how deeply we open ourselves to another in a relationship.
We’re programmed at the DNA level to create deep, meaningful bonds with others. Attachment styles are not about labeling one or another right or wrong or good or bad. Rather, they offer a greater understanding of your nature and how you can adopt healthier ways of communicating your needs and realistic expectations in your loving relationships.
The Three Main Attachment Styles
Ready to Chase (Anxious)
You may often feel anxious or insecure in relationships and subconsciously fear abandonment. Signs include: checking your phone constantly for messages, feeling needy or clingy, worrying excessively about your partner’s feelings, difficulty being alone.
Ready to Run (Avoidant)
You may feel overwhelmed by commitment or withdraw when emotions intensify. Signs include: feeling smothered by closeness, valuing independence above all, difficulty expressing emotions, pulling away when things get serious.
Ready to Receive (Secure)
You typically feel open and at ease in relationships. Communicating your emotions and needs comes naturally. Signs include: comfortable with intimacy and independence, able to express feelings openly, trusting without being naive.
How to Move Toward Secure Attachment
Regardless of your current attachment style, you can cultivate greater security through:
- Inner child healing work — revisiting and reparenting the younger you who formed these patterns in the first place
- Consistent self-soothing practices — breathwork, somatic movement, essential oils, and meditation that regulate your nervous system
- Honest communication — learning to express your needs clearly without demands or withdrawal
- Working with a skilled practitioner — therapy, coaching, or energy work can accelerate the process significantly
Essential Oil Support for Attachment Healing
- For Anxious Attachment: Vetiver + Lavender + Bergamot — grounding, calming, self-worth
- For Avoidant Attachment: Rose + Ylang Ylang + Sandalwood — heart opening, connection, trust
- For Building Security: Frankincense + Geranium + Cedarwood — safety, belonging, spiritual connection
